asherdashery: (cyndaquil)
Two short anecdotes to warm up with, I guess.

About a year or two ago in college, I was becoming closer friends with a really fun and interpersonally sharp and mostly mature (except when it came to her own romantic entanglements) girl named Tricia, who went to Johnston and Wales University but was plugged hardcore into Brown's lesbian/greater LGBTQ scene. We had a lot in common and we always had great conversations, but at some point I just kind of snapped and was like, "No, I can't hang out, I need a break!"

And she was like, "Okay! No problem." And it worked out, and it was great, and we kept it at a pace I could handle.

So the moral of that story is I couldn't hang out with someone I really liked three days in a row even when I never had to go out of my way to do it and she never put any pressure on me. I just couldn't do it. That kind of social interaction drains me to a physically painful point and as much as I get out of it, I hate it on some level, too.

SECOND ANECDOTE: I think a few months or a year into the downward slide of my relationship with my first girlfriend--so, probably around the beginning of senior year, or late junior year of high school--she actually said to me, "You're my drug." In all affection. Like she meant for that to be incredibly romantic, a declaration of all the trust and care she had for me and what I brought to her life.

It remains one of the worst things anyone's ever told me. Like, I'm trying to convey what kind of complete shit that made me feel like. Not like I was a shit person, though a little of that was in there, but more--the responsibility for her well-being she was foisting on me and only me, the unhealthiness of it, the desire for something that was continually tearing me down.

This is a journal entry about wanting me.

Even though we both know that you do. )
asherdashery: (otp)
Name: Ash
November 19 1989
4:00 PM Time Zone is EST
Hollywood, FL

The stars say that you're an exciting and wonderful person )

Dream 7:

Jan. 21st, 2013 09:50 am
asherdashery: (Default)
I dreamed I'd been cast as Javert but I hadn't known the first rehearsal/readthrough was that day so I didn't have my script but I pulled up the lyrics on my phone but it kept turning off and I kept flubbing it anyway. Also FtM voice problems. Also for some reason Javert lived in a ballpit? Yeah.

This was coming off another dream where a girl shoved a homeless man into traffic and then tried to escape homeless justice but they got her in the end.

In other news, I really need to fix my sleep schedule.
asherdashery: (peepers)
I don't remember too many details because as I was trying to fix them in my mind, I started falling asleep again, but two dreams, actually:

Read more... )
asherdashery: (knight)
- New Year's Jade/Dave
- Bro<>Nanna
- "Cable Cars," Jane/Jake
- Fantasy Jade/Dave with probable John/Rose because gdit now I can't stop thinking about it
- "Tzadik Katamar Yifrach", Jewish Terezi (to be written by Passover)
- D413 Bro/Dave's mom
- Li'l Seb (comic or not?)
- Alpha!Dave+Redglare in the dreambubbles
- Doomed timeline/dreambubble Nepeta
- D413 spinoff Karkat<>Kanaya
asherdashery: (otp)
Because plurking about this every time, even for karma, would get obnoxious.


Last update: 12/27 11:53 P.M.
Wordcount: 12731
Chapter count: 4
Images: 2 full-color
asherdashery: (peepers)
11/16/2012 10:16 PM: First round of edits done
11/16/2012 11:13 PM: Now on AO3!

asherdashery: (Default)
So for those who maybe somehow don't know, I'm a female-to-male transgender person and have been on the "out" spectrum since I was about sixteen. I'm pretty open about my status, and my last two years at college I told my story and answered questions for a couple different Coming Out panels for students and parents alike. I enjoyed doing it, and I think it's a useful thing to do--for my listeners maybe, but for me, too--and I thought I'd share my story again with you guys, since a lot of you haven't known me very long and maybe would find it interesting.

Every time I do this, I also think about what Zachary Quinto said when he came out a year ago--in short, my identity isn't really anybody's business to know, but if my being out as a cool LGBTQ person helps someone else out there, some kid who's scared and alone, feel okay about themselves, then of course I'm going to tell my story to help them. So here's my adventure through sexual and gender identity via the wonderful world of the internet.

In other news, I should maybe invest in one more binder. )
asherdashery: (otp)
A rare real-people dream set! Stranger still, it was internet people. I guess I'll make this one public since I don't have some of these people on my thing.

I don't remember much about my first dream, but at some point we were at a race track of some kind except all the cars were normal cars, so there were delivery trucks and things, too. I was with [personal profile] sailor in the stands and [personal profile] devil was in her car on the track. CBran and I were laughing and joking and she was trash-talking Erin, but then Erin crashed and at first it was funny from shock but then it was like oh holy shit Erin crashed. It wasn't a bad crash, though. So I'm pretty sure she was fine. I think someone else on my Plurk list was there, too, but I can't remember who now.

The second dream starred my best buddy Char. We were at their house or something, and their cousin was there and he was really chill and awesome and fun to be around, and kept waiting on us like a good host. Either he or Char had a little sister, too, and she was so cute and nice and I totally had a crush on her. Anyway, their cousin sliced up some apples and honey for us, and also there were some weird things going on but I don't really remember what they are now.

There wasn't much point to typing these dreams up but I figured people should know I was dreaming about them.
asherdashery: (Default)
RP Accounts
davesprite: [personal profile] crowsicle
dave strider: [personal profile] callbacks | [personal profile] turntechgodkid
guardian dave strider: [personal profile] upstartcrow

mom lalonde: [personal profile] cosmompolitan
li'l sebastian (Homestuck): [personal profile] rabbunctious
hideki hinata: [personal profile] secondbased
red (Pokemon Special): [personal profile] likenooneeverwas
adventure: [personal profile] aventura

[community profile] atomicclocks: The Team Daveā™„Jade community for the Homestuck Shipping Olympics [community profile] hs_olympics
[community profile] district413: An open comm for RPing Homestuck characters in The Hunger Games

External Links
asherdashery on Tumblr
dashery at Archive of Our Own
ashfox on Tegaki E

PM me for more contact info! (i.e. Plurk, AIM)

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