Oh wait yeah I guess ONE MORE THING is that I'm stupid willing to do stuff for or give things to people AS LONG AS THEY DON'T ASK. Actually not even as long as they don't ask, if they ask a lot of times I'll do it. It's when I can tell that they really want me to do it and will be disappointed if I don't that I feel like I'm being used.

One hundred times worse when people want me to feel things because there's probably nothing I can do about that. Trying to make myself feel things is. Well. Not something I want to spend two and a half years trying to do again.