asherdashery (
asherdashery) wrote2012-08-24 07:45 am
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Entry tags:
DVD Commentary: Alberton Project - 18. Limber Up
[The Alberton Project was a challenge I made to myself to write a little flash fiction snippet of our zombie RP story thing for each of the 33 rules of Zombieland. Most of the results ended up having nothing to do with zombies, because I actually do not know much about zombies. I'm just in it for awesome broships and surprise romance in the face of adversity and to curse a lot.
This one has very little to do with the prompt as a whole, and I don't remember my thought process in writing it, except that I really wanted to do it. It started on the assumption that Kaleb and Psy got split up like they did in the Zombieland era of this RP, though I'm not sure on the current "canon" of events now.]
Walt kept his eyes on the road, though his hands tightened on the wheel with each of Isaiah's labored breaths until he didn't think he could feel his fingers anymore. He tried not to let it show. "I appreciate this, Kaleb," he said, holding his voice low.
[Because Kaleb was looking for Psy, and going back to the Farm is a huge delay for him. Kaleb is a pack animal, though, and he would have gotten attached to Isaiah by this point, too. Of course he'd take them back. Walt knows that, too, but he needs to say something.]
Kaleb shrugged. "Yeah, well." He didn't say anything after that. He just wrestled with the fold-out map, though Walt had noticed he'd stopped using it when they'd entered the city limits.
[Kaleb spent a long time at the Farm, he knows the place like the back of his hand. He considers it home now. Also, he's probably not very good at reading maps, since he's not very good at, you know, reading.]
"Really. If you didn't know this place," Walt began, but he broke off as Isaiah moaned in the backseat. Kaleb turned and then stretched over the armrest to check on him.
Walt glanced at Kaleb as he dropped back into his seat. "Fever's pretty bad," said Kaleb.
[He's probably infected. Not with zombie germs, but there's no medical care around and if you're at all seriously wounded, you're probably a goner.]
Neither of them spoke for a moment. "I know this is slowing you down," Walt finally said.
"Nah." Kaleb scratched the back of his neck and looked out the window. "I don't think he went that way. [It takes a lot for Kaleb to admit something he's doing is futile. So he doesn't.] I'll just look south this time. Turn right up there, and then left through the gate," he said, nodding ahead.
Walt took the corner as gently as he could, but the roads were in bad condition and he couldn't help jostling Isaiah. He breathed in slowly, watching the boy in the backseat--was everyone younger in their sleep? He watched Isaiah pale in the rearview mirror and swallowed.
[Because I think Isaiah is in some way Walt's humanity. Without Isaiah, Walt won't give up on everyone else, exactly, but he'll give up on letting things in, on being a whole person instead of a wry smile and a rifle.]
He jumped when Kaleb punched his shoulder.
[Walt doesn't know he's almost pack yet, but that's a good indication.]
"Don't worry." Kaleb propped his elbow against the passenger door and rested his temple on his fist. "Cookie's a sheep, but he's good. He'll fix your buddy."
[Kaleb's cool with all the gay dudes macking on each other in his life, but he doesn't really know how to express that. He's from Bumfuck, Montana. "Buddy" is the best he can do.]
Walt wasn't sure what to say. "Thanks, Kaleb," he managed.
"Sure." He pointed. "Right up that road."
"Hah," Walt said as they turned onto the campus grounds. "It's on a university?"
"Guess so. Why?"
Walt shook his head. "Nothing. Just a conversation I had, once. Which way?"
[This was awkward and I almost cut it, but the college thing was one of the conversations I got to see between Walt and Isaiah, so.]
"Right."
The classroom buildings gave way to open land and then a cornfield. Walt saw the farm in the distance and made for it without having to be told.
"Do we knock?"
Kaleb dropped any pretense at reading the map. "They'll hear the car."
Walt parked directly in front of the door and got out to help Kaleb carry Isaiah, but Kaleb shrugged him off. "I got it, Potsheep," he said, and Walt stepped back and turned off the engine. In the sudden silence he heard activity on the other side of the door.
[I kind of wish I'd taken another moment to linger on how Walt wants to take care of something he's starting to realize he wants to be his. Of course Kaleb can carry Isaiah, he is a big strapping dude with no other redeeming qualities. But Isaiah is Walt's. And Walt is starting to realize he might be thinking like that.]
Ignoring what he'd said himself, Kaleb kicked at the door.
"Hold on, we've just got to—" someone said, and then the door swung inward. A tall, sallow man in a lab coat looked up and then gaped at Kaleb.
"Little help here, Sheep?" Kaleb grunted.
"Kal--" Kaleb shouldered his way past and strode in like he owned the place. Walt pocketed the Pilot's keys and followed after.
A few others crowded into the entrance hall, but Kaleb spoke over all of them. "Save it--this guy's in bad shape, so if you'd move--"
The white coat who'd opened the door seemed to gather himself. [Since I was writing this from Walt's perspective, I tried really hard not to use characters' names, since Walt hadn't met them yet.] "Take him to the back room, Kaleb. Mack, go get a kit from the lab. Josh, blankets." The boys darted away and he closed the door. He turned to the one left, the girl. "Ashleigh, I need your help." She straightened and nodded and hurried after Kaleb.
"Um," Walt started, raising his hand.
[But even if he's maybe a wreck about Isaiah, Walt can't help being kind of funny.]
The man looked back at him and blinked. "Oh. Hello. Er." His eyes flicked back down the hall, then returned. "Sorry, we'll introduce ourselves later. Can you move the table back in front of the door?"
"Sure." The coat smiled distractedly and headed off, and Walt added, "Thanks for helping us."
The man--Cookiesheep?--glanced back, surprised. "Of course," he said, as if it were obvious.
[And goodness isn't as obvious to Walt, Kaleb, and Simon as it is to the others. I think that might be part of what Kaleb recognizes, what makes them pack.]
Walt stared after him a moment. Kaleb, of all people, knew people like these.
[And I think Walt and Simon have a pack sense, too. Simon probably more than Walt, but Walt knows enough about Kaleb to be surprised by this.]
He pushed a wooden table in front of the door, telling himself he wasn't listening for voices down the hall but hearing them anyway. The man was quiet, but his directions came quickly, and Walt felt a knot start to loosen in his chest that he hadn't known was there. He heard Kaleb start to say something, but the girl snapped at him, and the doctor threw him out before it could escalate into a fight.
[Kaleigh 5eva.]
Walt passed through the foyer and found himself in the kitchen, where their hosts had clearly been interrupted mid-snack. Kaleb padded back into view and made straight for an unfinished bag of potato chips.
"You all right, Pot--?"
"What the fuck is going on out there?"
They both froze.
[Simon is the hardest to write, bleh.]
A door opened further down the hall. "Who the hell is this fag? Is he dead?"
"No--please, Simon, I'm trying to--"
"Get out of the way, Simon!" the girl snapped.
Kaleb dropped the potato chip and lunged toward the hall, but caught himself at the corner. He held his breath.
"You better not be expecting to keep Siddhartha here, this place is already a stupid fucking zoo for pussies." The door creaked again.
[Char, come in here and fix all of Simon's dialogue, okay. Although I like the Siddhartha comment.]
"Oh--Simon, Kaleb's--"
But they'd already seen each other.
Walt saw the line of Kaleb's shoulders change. He thought for a moment he might--
[I don't remember if Walt was thinking Kaleb might hug Simon or cry. One of those.]
But then Kaleb tore down the hall and tackled Simon to the floor.
They crashed into the wall in a tangled yell of punches and swears, and Cookiesheep came back to the door at the same time Walt got to the hall. "Si--Kaleb, stop!" the doctor said, but Kaleb had the upper hand and he landed a couple solid blows to Simon's jaw before Simon threw him off. "Simon!" But Simon wasn't listening, either, and Kaleb coughed as Simon kneed him in the ribs. Cookiesheep started forward to separate them.
[Because Lyall hasn't been introduced to him yet by name, he has to call him Cookiesheep.]
"Let them," Walt said. Cookie stared at him and he shook his head. "I'll make sure they don't kill each other."
[Walt doesn't know he's pack, but he knows how to handle pack.]
The man hesitated, but then Kaleb shouted, "You fucking cockhat good-for-nothing ASSCUNT!"
[Asscunt. What does that even mean. I like that word, it shows how little Kaleb actually thinks about the things he says, and how he has so many feelings he just CAN'T. EXPRESS. HOW MUCH OF AN ASSCUNT SIMON IS!]
That seemed to decide him, and he nodded to Walt. "I'll leave them to you."
[Lyall's gotten used to their antics, too.]
The fight dragged on until both of them could hardly move. Simon heaved himself up against the wall, covering his face. "Who's the asscunt?" he said into his hand.
Kaleb rolled onto his back. "You punched me in the eye," he groaned.
"Here, let me do it again, my arm needs stretching."
[There, that was my concession to the prompt. Limber up before you start whaling on your right-hand dog, guys.]
"Fuck you."
"Well, this brings back memories," Walt said.
Simon let his hand fall and frowned up at him. "...Walt?"
[Simon didn't even see him. Way too busy welcoming Kaleb back.]
Walt decided not to notice the way his eyes had been glistening, just like he didn't comment on Kaleb's shaking arms. [Losers.] Instead, he just smiled a little and shrugged. "Hey, Psy. Looks like I'm joining the zoo."
[I remember that line being different in the Tumblr version before I edited it to this. This one ties back to the thing Simon said and ends the piece better. I NEED things to resolve at the end, I have a problem.]
This one has very little to do with the prompt as a whole, and I don't remember my thought process in writing it, except that I really wanted to do it. It started on the assumption that Kaleb and Psy got split up like they did in the Zombieland era of this RP, though I'm not sure on the current "canon" of events now.]
Walt kept his eyes on the road, though his hands tightened on the wheel with each of Isaiah's labored breaths until he didn't think he could feel his fingers anymore. He tried not to let it show. "I appreciate this, Kaleb," he said, holding his voice low.
[Because Kaleb was looking for Psy, and going back to the Farm is a huge delay for him. Kaleb is a pack animal, though, and he would have gotten attached to Isaiah by this point, too. Of course he'd take them back. Walt knows that, too, but he needs to say something.]
Kaleb shrugged. "Yeah, well." He didn't say anything after that. He just wrestled with the fold-out map, though Walt had noticed he'd stopped using it when they'd entered the city limits.
[Kaleb spent a long time at the Farm, he knows the place like the back of his hand. He considers it home now. Also, he's probably not very good at reading maps, since he's not very good at, you know, reading.]
"Really. If you didn't know this place," Walt began, but he broke off as Isaiah moaned in the backseat. Kaleb turned and then stretched over the armrest to check on him.
Walt glanced at Kaleb as he dropped back into his seat. "Fever's pretty bad," said Kaleb.
[He's probably infected. Not with zombie germs, but there's no medical care around and if you're at all seriously wounded, you're probably a goner.]
Neither of them spoke for a moment. "I know this is slowing you down," Walt finally said.
"Nah." Kaleb scratched the back of his neck and looked out the window. "I don't think he went that way. [It takes a lot for Kaleb to admit something he's doing is futile. So he doesn't.] I'll just look south this time. Turn right up there, and then left through the gate," he said, nodding ahead.
Walt took the corner as gently as he could, but the roads were in bad condition and he couldn't help jostling Isaiah. He breathed in slowly, watching the boy in the backseat--was everyone younger in their sleep? He watched Isaiah pale in the rearview mirror and swallowed.
[Because I think Isaiah is in some way Walt's humanity. Without Isaiah, Walt won't give up on everyone else, exactly, but he'll give up on letting things in, on being a whole person instead of a wry smile and a rifle.]
He jumped when Kaleb punched his shoulder.
[Walt doesn't know he's almost pack yet, but that's a good indication.]
"Don't worry." Kaleb propped his elbow against the passenger door and rested his temple on his fist. "Cookie's a sheep, but he's good. He'll fix your buddy."
[Kaleb's cool with all the gay dudes macking on each other in his life, but he doesn't really know how to express that. He's from Bumfuck, Montana. "Buddy" is the best he can do.]
Walt wasn't sure what to say. "Thanks, Kaleb," he managed.
"Sure." He pointed. "Right up that road."
"Hah," Walt said as they turned onto the campus grounds. "It's on a university?"
"Guess so. Why?"
Walt shook his head. "Nothing. Just a conversation I had, once. Which way?"
[This was awkward and I almost cut it, but the college thing was one of the conversations I got to see between Walt and Isaiah, so.]
"Right."
The classroom buildings gave way to open land and then a cornfield. Walt saw the farm in the distance and made for it without having to be told.
"Do we knock?"
Kaleb dropped any pretense at reading the map. "They'll hear the car."
Walt parked directly in front of the door and got out to help Kaleb carry Isaiah, but Kaleb shrugged him off. "I got it, Potsheep," he said, and Walt stepped back and turned off the engine. In the sudden silence he heard activity on the other side of the door.
[I kind of wish I'd taken another moment to linger on how Walt wants to take care of something he's starting to realize he wants to be his. Of course Kaleb can carry Isaiah, he is a big strapping dude with no other redeeming qualities. But Isaiah is Walt's. And Walt is starting to realize he might be thinking like that.]
Ignoring what he'd said himself, Kaleb kicked at the door.
"Hold on, we've just got to—" someone said, and then the door swung inward. A tall, sallow man in a lab coat looked up and then gaped at Kaleb.
"Little help here, Sheep?" Kaleb grunted.
"Kal--" Kaleb shouldered his way past and strode in like he owned the place. Walt pocketed the Pilot's keys and followed after.
A few others crowded into the entrance hall, but Kaleb spoke over all of them. "Save it--this guy's in bad shape, so if you'd move--"
The white coat who'd opened the door seemed to gather himself. [Since I was writing this from Walt's perspective, I tried really hard not to use characters' names, since Walt hadn't met them yet.] "Take him to the back room, Kaleb. Mack, go get a kit from the lab. Josh, blankets." The boys darted away and he closed the door. He turned to the one left, the girl. "Ashleigh, I need your help." She straightened and nodded and hurried after Kaleb.
"Um," Walt started, raising his hand.
[But even if he's maybe a wreck about Isaiah, Walt can't help being kind of funny.]
The man looked back at him and blinked. "Oh. Hello. Er." His eyes flicked back down the hall, then returned. "Sorry, we'll introduce ourselves later. Can you move the table back in front of the door?"
"Sure." The coat smiled distractedly and headed off, and Walt added, "Thanks for helping us."
The man--Cookiesheep?--glanced back, surprised. "Of course," he said, as if it were obvious.
[And goodness isn't as obvious to Walt, Kaleb, and Simon as it is to the others. I think that might be part of what Kaleb recognizes, what makes them pack.]
Walt stared after him a moment. Kaleb, of all people, knew people like these.
[And I think Walt and Simon have a pack sense, too. Simon probably more than Walt, but Walt knows enough about Kaleb to be surprised by this.]
He pushed a wooden table in front of the door, telling himself he wasn't listening for voices down the hall but hearing them anyway. The man was quiet, but his directions came quickly, and Walt felt a knot start to loosen in his chest that he hadn't known was there. He heard Kaleb start to say something, but the girl snapped at him, and the doctor threw him out before it could escalate into a fight.
[Kaleigh 5eva.]
Walt passed through the foyer and found himself in the kitchen, where their hosts had clearly been interrupted mid-snack. Kaleb padded back into view and made straight for an unfinished bag of potato chips.
"You all right, Pot--?"
"What the fuck is going on out there?"
They both froze.
[Simon is the hardest to write, bleh.]
A door opened further down the hall. "Who the hell is this fag? Is he dead?"
"No--please, Simon, I'm trying to--"
"Get out of the way, Simon!" the girl snapped.
Kaleb dropped the potato chip and lunged toward the hall, but caught himself at the corner. He held his breath.
"You better not be expecting to keep Siddhartha here, this place is already a stupid fucking zoo for pussies." The door creaked again.
[Char, come in here and fix all of Simon's dialogue, okay. Although I like the Siddhartha comment.]
"Oh--Simon, Kaleb's--"
But they'd already seen each other.
Walt saw the line of Kaleb's shoulders change. He thought for a moment he might--
[I don't remember if Walt was thinking Kaleb might hug Simon or cry. One of those.]
But then Kaleb tore down the hall and tackled Simon to the floor.
They crashed into the wall in a tangled yell of punches and swears, and Cookiesheep came back to the door at the same time Walt got to the hall. "Si--Kaleb, stop!" the doctor said, but Kaleb had the upper hand and he landed a couple solid blows to Simon's jaw before Simon threw him off. "Simon!" But Simon wasn't listening, either, and Kaleb coughed as Simon kneed him in the ribs. Cookiesheep started forward to separate them.
[Because Lyall hasn't been introduced to him yet by name, he has to call him Cookiesheep.]
"Let them," Walt said. Cookie stared at him and he shook his head. "I'll make sure they don't kill each other."
[Walt doesn't know he's pack, but he knows how to handle pack.]
The man hesitated, but then Kaleb shouted, "You fucking cockhat good-for-nothing ASSCUNT!"
[Asscunt. What does that even mean. I like that word, it shows how little Kaleb actually thinks about the things he says, and how he has so many feelings he just CAN'T. EXPRESS. HOW MUCH OF AN ASSCUNT SIMON IS!]
That seemed to decide him, and he nodded to Walt. "I'll leave them to you."
[Lyall's gotten used to their antics, too.]
The fight dragged on until both of them could hardly move. Simon heaved himself up against the wall, covering his face. "Who's the asscunt?" he said into his hand.
Kaleb rolled onto his back. "You punched me in the eye," he groaned.
"Here, let me do it again, my arm needs stretching."
[There, that was my concession to the prompt. Limber up before you start whaling on your right-hand dog, guys.]
"Fuck you."
"Well, this brings back memories," Walt said.
Simon let his hand fall and frowned up at him. "...Walt?"
[Simon didn't even see him. Way too busy welcoming Kaleb back.]
Walt decided not to notice the way his eyes had been glistening, just like he didn't comment on Kaleb's shaking arms. [Losers.] Instead, he just smiled a little and shrugged. "Hey, Psy. Looks like I'm joining the zoo."
[I remember that line being different in the Tumblr version before I edited it to this. This one ties back to the thing Simon said and ends the piece better. I NEED things to resolve at the end, I have a problem.]
DVD Commentary: Alberton Project - 1. Cardio
The roar dwindled to a confused gabble, then a single, delayed snarl, and Ashleigh tried not to compare its almost human sound to the voice of her first kill, who was probably—she tried not to remember. [Her dad. She thinks it was probably her dad. Who knows?] Finally, all she could hear was Kaleb’s breathing and her own. They didn’t move, and the seconds stretched on until Ashleigh’s heart slowed enough to tell one beat from the next. [First reference to the actual theme of this chapter: Cardio.] Only then did she unwrap her left hand from the muzzle of her gun, stretch out to touch the rounded wooden poles she had fallen into. A mop, a broom. The giddy relief bubbled up to her brain, and she began, “Ka—”
He yanked her up and her voice tangled on a gasp as her gun was crushed between her chest and his. He grunted and let go of one fistful of her top, and she didn’t know if she dropped the gun or if he took it away because the next thing she knew was his mouth on hers, tasting of heat and sweat and gunpowder. He kissed her with a starving man’s passion, all desperation and hunger and her blood surged with the need to live.
She grabbed at him, any part she could reach, one hand clutching his sleeve and then the other twisting in the fur of his hood or his hair, she didn’t know, couldn’t think, she wanted all of him right now [BOW CHICKA WOW WOW I don't remember this being so raunchy hot dang] and she wanted to touch him right now, she wanted to drag his parka off of him and stretch herself against that chest she’d touched once [I have no idea what this is in reference to anymore, oops, probably some time she patched him up], and her fingers pinched his zipper [PARKA ZIPPER I should have clarified] in the dark and pulled—
He broke away and she inhaled as he lifted her by the legs and dumped her on a counter or ledge—no telling in the dark, no time to look as he took her mouth again, unhampered now by the difference in height, his hands knotted in her belt loops and netted in her hair, and she could feel the muscles in his stomach through his cotton shirt, they moved under her palm as she drew him closer—
[Dashes, dashes everywhere. But I like that here, because they're in the dark and it's all action and nerves and no coherent thoughts. If she were thinking with periods, she'd NEVER do this, right?]
The door burst open and they squinted as Simon stood in the rectangle of light, watching Kaleb kiss Ashleigh on the edge of the sink.
“Really. A janitor’s fucking closet.”
[Oh oops hey I was using the Tumblr version of this since FictionPress doesn't let me copy and paste? I forgot I edited them in between. Weird. Anyway I'm missing a short line where Kaleb is like "Psy--" and goes after, I don't know what else I missed, oops.]
Ashleigh didn’t listen as Kaleb hurried after his friend. She slipped off the rounded porcelain and retrieved her gun as the men exchanged words she couldn’t understand right now, not over the spinning of her head.
Not over her heart pounding too fast to catch beats. [Cardio reference numbah 2.
I didn't have much to say about this piece--it was the warm-up to the rest, and feels kind of different in tone and subject matter.]
DVD Commentary: Alberton Project - 5. No Attachments
"Hey, Psy."
"What."
"Do you think he's gonna lose the arm?"
[He sounds like such a kid here. And some of it is on purpose. He knows Simon's worried and he's purposely goading him so he can vent it.]
Simon narrowed his eyes. "No."
"Dr. Sinclair's not going to lose his arm," Ashleigh snapped, at the end of her rope. "He stitched it up, he'll be fine. No thanks to some people who punch him in the face."
[Poor Ashleigh, though. She's kind of on the outside looking in with bewilderment and exasperation for a lot of these fics, which is unfortunate. She probably could've been Pack, I just never wrote it in Alberton Project.]
Simon ignored her, which just made her clench her fists tighter. The tension in the room didn't seem to concern Kaleb, who kept on munching on his Oreos. He tilted his chair back onto its back legs and balanced there, chewing.
"'Cause," he said after a pause, "we could get it replaced with a cyber arm or something."
Simon snorted. [It is still funny, even in his worry and anger.] "Come on, how cool would that be?" Kaleb continued, letting his chair rock forward and twisting around to look at him. "We could get him like a machine gun attachment, or a goddamn rocket launcher. A rocket launcher, man."
"Kaleb, that's not funny," Ashleigh hissed through her tightening throat. [Bah. I feel bad about how much I make Ashleigh emotional, but she's also an emotional girl. There's nothing wrong with emotion. But I'm annoyed with myself that she's almost always the one to show it.] She'd been so frantic, so sure Lyall was dead, and she'd been the only one able to keep her head and do something [At least there's this, though.] and the zombies were coming and Mack and Josh were whimpering useless babies—
"We're not getting the fucking quack a machine arm," Simon said without inflection.
[The machine arm is the "attachment" referenced in this chapter's theme. In retrospect, though, "No Attachments" also refers to Simon and how he reacts to the reality of his own personal attachments.]
"It'd be like robots versus zombies. We could make millions off this shit. I mean, if anyone was around to watch it."
"Kaleb—"
Simon spoke over her. "His arm's staying on."
"But he'd be like Robocop," Kaleb replied. "Robodoc. The Doctornator." He grinned and tilted his chair back again, miming a gun arm. "'Hasta la vista, zombies.' Bangbangbangbang." He laughed and reached for another Oreo.
[I actually feel kind of weird about all these pop culture references coming out of Kaleb. He's not actually a pop culture kind of guy. Oh well.]
But Simon wrenched over and yanked Kaleb's chair back. It smacked into the floor [That sound always felt so satisfying for me to imagine.] and he swore and Ashleigh yelled, but Simon was on him and the two were wrestling across the kitchen floor, elbowing and kicking and slamming each other into table legs and cupboards. Ashleigh moved to separate them, but someone's foot caught her in the shin and she backed away yelping.
It ended quickly—Simon caught Kaleb one above the ear that he didn't get up from, instead rolling over and covering his head. [If Kaleb hadn't been doing it for Simon's benefit--like, if he'd actually wanted to fight--he would have kept going. But this was for his Pack, and Simon is his Alpha.] Simon pushed himself up and stood over Kaleb, breathing hard through his nose, then stormed out with his gun. The door slammed, and Ashleigh waited three heartbeats before looking at Kaleb. "Jesus fuck," he groaned, touching his face.
"Your nose is bleeding," she told him, finding the same eerie calm that had gotten her through the morning.
"Tell me something I don't know."
[I always hated that ending. Still do. But I never could find a way to sort of encapsulate what I was going for--the spirit that Kaleb provoked Simon in, the fact that he cares very much about Lyall but doesn't get why everyone's so tense about it (he survived, right, so what's the problem?)--without making it too obvious.
Kaleb is not the one to whom "No Attachments" applies, though. He gets very attached. He'd sink his teeth into anything that threatened his people. He just doesn't process the fear of loss. Everything is very present for him. He's a dog.]